The Poem that Inspired the Title
If my heart was a balloon then you spent one year blowing love into it until one day you decided that you had no more love to give and the love that you were giving wasn’t love at all but instead your own falsified version. That day you took a pin to my balloon heart and popped it. And instead of spurts of love pouring out of my popped heart balloon confusion, pain, and miscommunication erupted covering me and you. Confusion replaced certainty, pain replaced happiness and miscommunication replaced the ability we had to speak any words to each other in any garbled mess and they would still come out making sense. And since that day you popped my balloon heart I had a reel of memories replaying in my head. Nonstop. But it wasn’t until I realized that loving you and then losing you meant losing love for myself, then I was able to make some sense of the situation. It was no longer about you. It was about me. You call yourself a Godly man but I can assure you the words you whispered to me would have caused God’s own sealed wounds to open and pour out more blood, my blood so I wouldn’t have to. So you can ask for forgiveness and you can ask for penance but in reality your actions are still your actions, your words still your words and the pain you caused was still caused by you. But let me be BIGGER and say thank you because if you hadn’t popped my balloon heart I would have never found it in me to love myself again.
